Exploration 6 from Andrea

     "On the Rainy River" definitely has been the chapter that has mean the most to me. The entire chapter explains a situation that is basically O'Brien running from the fear he felt due to the war and the fact that people may not think highly of him if he goes to war. I find that I often times relate to him. I have become great at running from the things I don't want to face. My first instinct when conflict introduces itself is to run, avoid the situation. I think that I found myself relating to O'Brien during that chapter and that's the reason it has stuck with me. On page 42 O'Brien states "Beyond all this, or at the very center, was the raw fact of terror." He was terrified to die. I may not necessarily have a fear in my life that I run from that is to that extent, but I understand what he is saying.
     I think that after evaluating the question from the last paragraph, I figured out that I relate best to the young Tim O'Brien partially because he ran from his fear, but also because he cared so much what people thought about him. I explained in the previous paragraph that like O'Brien, I too, have found myself  running from fear. What I haven't already explained though is that I care so much what others think about me. O'Brien found himself in war because he didn't want to disappoint. He didn't want to be the talk of his town. I think that I naturally care what people think about me as a high school girl. I may find myself doing things here and there that I might not otherwise just to avoid disappoint. I want everyone to think highly of me, much like O'Brien did.
     O'Brien does a great job offering descriptions about certain places/situations he finds himself in. He mastered the ability to provide scene for the reader. A great example of that would be found near the end of "On the Rainy River." He describes the sight he sees sitting on the boat with Elroy. He does a great job explain what he sees from the boat. Even the little details are explained. On pages 53 and 54 He says that "[he] could see the delicate latticework of the leaves, the texture of the soil, the browned needles beneath the pines..." The elements offer a great description of the area which allows the reader to "see" exactly what he is seeing.
      One passage that truly struck me was "War is hell, but that's not the half of it, because war is also mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love. War is nasty; war is fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead." (76). It is so powerful. Often times we as humans go along the day thinking that we have war figured out. It's just a fight with guns and bombs some would say. But O'Brien argues that it's not. It's not actual aspect of war that matters, it's the emotions attached to it. People who fight are the only ones that really get to see that though. It's so meaningful to hear those words come out of a veteran's mouth because they are speaking what they truly feel about the war and they are the only ones who really know.