Exploration Six: Lillie Weber

After reading 180 pages of The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien, I believe it is one of the best novels I have ever read. With having family who fought in the Vietnam war, this topic hits close to home. I have seen what my family members have had to carry, and it was interesting seeing what other soldiers had to carry emotionally and physically as well.

My favorite chapter in the book is "Speaking of Courage". This chapter meant the most to me because it embodies the feelings of most soldiers within the war. Norman Bowker is having serious psychological issues. He is reliving Kiowa death and how he believes he could've prevented it. 

Within this chapter, Norman has an inner dialogue pretending that he is talking to his father when really he is talking to himself. He says, "And his father would've nodded, knowing full well that many brave men do not win medals for their bravery, and that others win medals for doing nothing"(135). This means so much to me because this is truly why Norman is upset and how many other soldiers in the war probably felt. Those who are truly brave are the ones who were not recognized. 

I believe that I relate to Norman in some ways. He is unable to admit that he wasn't brave when Kiowa died until he was alone and driving around the lake. He is afraid to admit his mistakes and that is how I am. I cannot admit that I made a mistake because I am stubborn. Not to mention, I do things to please my parents like he went to war to please his dad by winning medals. 

In the chapter "On the Rainy River", the author says, " Now, perhaps, you can understand why I never told this story before. It's not just the embarrassment of tears. That's part of it, no doubt, but what embarrasses me much more, and always will, is the paralysis that took my heart. A moral freeze: I couldn't decide, I couldn't act, I couldn't comport myself with even a pretense of modest human dignity" (54). This made me connect to the author emotionally. The fact he has never told anyone before this book makes me truly feel for him. Not only that but he throws aside masculinity and professes exactly what he was feeling in full detail. He admits that he was a coward and that is something a man usually doesn't do.